When we project all our desires, hopes, fears onto a lover, they can become our 3D holographic mirror for awakening.
Romantic relations trigger our programs most potently. Their behaviors are perfect triggers when we need to wake up.
The triggers are doorways to liberation even though they feel terrible or because they feel terrible. They are potent.
As far as my story continues, I went back consciously after excavating a huge portion of the old lies I had been brought up with. Lies like not being good enough, always being abandoned, needing to be in control to be safe.
What I found there was my own hamster wheel of creating situations to prove those lies true. It’s a real mind f*ck!
Continuing to choose an unavailable person was absolutely perfect to get me to finally open my eyes to the lies. He DID fulfill all this and why did I feel I needed to live like that?? How to heal it?