Chapter 3
~~ I help people with alchemizing toxic patterns, unf*cking your life, embodiment and turning on sensuality, teaching sensual massage to move stuck energy, and beauty trauma. I also work with promiscuous men breaking addictions to sex and porn so you can be free and learn to truly connect. I offer in-person and virtual coaching packages and Goddess worship (virtual only). Email me if you’d like to work together. ~~
USING CRISIS AS MEDICINE
As crazy as it seems, I eventually got to the place where I could see that each crisis or trigger was a doorway, a portal, into growth and alchemy.
To be able to do that, I first needed to regulate my nervous system. Prior to unwinding my fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses, I was an emotional wreck. At that time, with each “crisis”, all the childhood responses would come up and take over, leaving me questionably functional and very messy. And I say “crisis” because now looking back, they felt that way in large part due to my responding as a child, and taking it all really seriously.
Some of the ways that I learned to regulate and rewire my nervous system responses:
Reparenting
Somatic experiencing
Pinpointed self-inquiry
Spending a month in an ashram helped immensely. It was painful af and also the routine and structure of making the bed, waking up early (too early), meditating, eating, more meditating, lots of crying and catharsis and detoxing.
Another crucial piece was dealing with long-standing underlying health issues through functional medicine. Trauma is layered. For me, it had resided in my physical tissues for many years as lead and heavy metals, endocrine imbalance, IBS, etc. I posted some about my journey through mold sickness which is what brought me to functional medicine.
A third layer to this is craniofacial underdevelopment which also comes from similar foundations. I am working through that now with palate expansion and will talk more about it in the future. Basically, it leads to not being able to breathe enough.
All these elements are really common in our world today.
Chapter 4
Once my system was much calmer and not in alarmed panic mode, I got deeper with questioning the beliefs that are under the surface causing the dysregulation – core wounds caused during childhood.
The last step here is acting differently. For instance, in the past I might have closed off, become even more avoidant, exploded, cut and run, enacted pretty dramatic revenge scenarios, chaos, depression and shut down.
By being super duper mindful, and leaning into the spaces where I wanted to act out and instead showing up as vulnerably as I could muster, the whole dynamic shifted and unraveled.
New behaviors include expressing needs and wants, checking myself and where I was leading myself into downward spirals with stories.
One of my favorite questions to ask myself is “Is this true?” because I often lie to myself to maintain the chemical addiction cycle to misery and suffering.
Yes, the chemical addiction cycle to misery and suffering – I was caught in this loop my whole life. Walking through this fire has lifted that.
Liberation! Hallelujah!
I have a few spaces available for people who want to be coached by me. I help people with sexual issues, including anorgasm, ED, PE, and utilize a combination of somatic experiencing, pranayama (Tantric breathwork), sensual bodywork, pattern disruption, and more. Message me to learn more and set up a time to chat to see if we should be working together. In-person and virtual available (in-person is very limited and a bigger investment).