Part 4
The symbiotic dysfunction that we had was changed through MY change in behavior. And by expressing my needs and communicating openly and with good timing, and asking questions that could lead to painful responses, he was able to show up differently and more honestly which allowed me to really see him and decide not to partake in the back and forth drama where only a few of my needs where even somewhat being met.
Now that the NEED for continuing my self destructive pattern of “I will always be abandoned” was crumbling, I was able to OPT out.
It was clear to see we had different desires and I wasn’t in need anymore of abandoning myself to prove “I will always be abandoned”.
As humiliating as it feels, sometimes we can’t just walk away from people and sort this all out on our own…we keep going back for years trying to solve our dilemma. We are obsessed, not to mention limbically and psychically connected with this person to the point where the veils grow thin and we can feel when they are thinking about us….
For me to just walk away and start anew wasn’t liberating because I was trying to heal my childhood through him and us and projecting that onto him and our relationship.
It mirrored dynamics in childhood so that if he could only do what I needed, I could be happy.
I needed to keep going into the fire to be washed clean, burning up my triggers, changing my behaviors, and eventually setting new standards once I got enough extraction from the enmeshment.
My heart wanted to keep going back and so I did until I alchemized it.
Read about how to get through this by getting your copy of my e-book in the link in bio.
I offer coaching around alchemizing toxic patterns, unwinding limiting patterns, embodiment and turning on sensuality, teaching sensual massage to move stuck energy, and more. Email me if you’d like to work together.